LOL Not But IOL Instead

Here's what I'm doing Monday morning. Cataract surgery. It's a piece of cake now. They actually liquify my lens and suck it out. Whoa!

Cataract surgery involves removal of the clouded natural lens and implantation of a clear plastic intraocular lens (IOL). This is typically performed on an outpatient basis and seldom requires a hospital stay. Most patients are allowed to return home within an hour or two of their surgery. Typically this is performed with a local anesthetic but is also frequently done using topical anesthesia, simply using anesthetic drops. After the anesthetic, a small 3 millimeter (about 1/8 inch) incision is made in the front of the eye. A fine instrument is placed into the eye to rapidly remove the cataract using ultrasonic waves. The ultrasonic waves liquefy the cataract so that it can be easily aspirated from the eye.

After the cataract is completely removed, a tiny intraocular (IOL) lens is placed into the normal position of the natural lens to restore the focusing power of the eye. Because of the small incision size used in modern cataract surgery, sutures are almost never required. Most patients are able to resume most of their normal activities within a few days of their surgery. Recovery is usually complete in 3 to 4 weeks. Typically, antibiotic and anti-inflammatory drops are prescribed during the post-operative period to prevent infection and speed recovery. [Source: See link above. This is from the St. Cloud Eye Clinic in MN, a perfect name as cataracts make your sight very cloudy.]

I Am A Pirate King!

I have eye surgery Monday morning so I have to go pirate patch shopping this weekend. Maybe I'll go get lessons by seeing this. Or maybe he can teach me how it works.

Will Men Make Passes Once I Don't Wear Glasses?

There's a good chance I won't need glasses once both my cataracts are operated on and healed. I kinda like my glasses. They make me look smart. Maybe I won't look half as smart, once I don't need glasses. This could be a problem. I'll have to get back to you on that. Surgery Monday for the left eye, takes about a month to heal. Then surgery in October for the right eye. Jeepers Creepers Where'd You Get Those Peepers by Halloween!

Sure, Put A Knife In My Eye

I have cataract surgery on Monday. I've had cataracts since I was 16 and it's high time I got around to having them operated on. At 47, I'm a young kid for this team of eye surgeons. They are used to seeing 80-year-old ladies wheeled in.

Here's an interesting website about cataract surgery. This is NOT where I'm having my surgery. I'll be in Boston. But they have a picture of a building here with maximum glare to show people without cataracts what it looks like WITH cataracts. It's a good example of how I see every day.

I'm a big chicken about all things hospital-ish since I was sick a lot as a kid. I know this will be no big deal, but still, there's something basic about someone cutting your eye ... well, it's hard to imagine it being a pleasant thing.

Did I Mention Chris Pirillo?

To be fair, Chris Pirillo has been telling us EMAIL IS OVER for a long time and also recommending like others, and perhaps BEFORE most others, that RSS will lead us out of this unhappy land of spam. Check this out.

Monday's The New Friday and RSS's The New Email

I heard someone on the radio today say that Monday is the new Friday ... whatever. Not at all sure what the point of that was.

On the other hand, I see Adam Curry and Dave Winer are proclaiming EMAIL IS DEAD and proposing an amazing solution. Boy are they dead on. Don't miss it.

A Blogger In The Mist

Toot my own horn department -- hope you don't mind. I 've just published a piece on blogging in Harvard Business Review called "A Blogger In Their Midst" which is a (fictional) "case study" about a CEO who is perplexed by a blogger known as Glove Girl. who's spilling secrets, drawing bigger crowds at industry events and happens to be on his payroll. Here's their schpiel from the Table of Contents

HBR Case Study
A Blogger In Their Midst
Halley Suitt

A tech-savvy employee has something to say about everything at surgical glove manufacturer Lancaster-Webb. When she raved on-line about an older style of gloves, sales unexpectedly shot up. And when she posted damaging information about a potential customer's business practices, the deal collapsed. Is "Glove Girl" a priceless marketing weapon or a grave security risk?

The HBR Case Study is a regular feature which poses really difficult management problems, then asks four experts to give their advice on how to handle the situation. The four experts commenting on my piece are none other than our favorite boy blogger David Weinberger, also the only CEO I know who blogs, Ray Ozzie of Groove, together with the esteemed law professor Pamela Samuelson from UC Berkeley and our savvy VP of Human Resources over at EMC, Erin Motameni.

It's not available until Monday, but with any luck I'll scan it and post it for all to read. Not that you shouldn't plunk down the $16.95 for a real copy of the September issue of HBR at a newstand near you this coming Monday.

And about the title, I mean no disrepect, but it kinda reminds me of Gorillas In The Mist.

Alpha Male Signed Sealed and Delivered

So I've finished "How To Become An Alpha Male in 18 Easy Lessons" happy and sad to say. It was so much fun to write. Meanwhile, someone recently sent me the very first post about it -- this one -- where I mentioned my new book was coming out soon (a total lie at that point -- a joke between me and Gary Turner -- thanks Gary) and I also said there would be language tapes too. Wow, I had forgotten I wrote that and what a good idea! Alpha Male growling. Alpha Male grunting. Alpha Male climaxing. Oh yes! Talk about a killer app.

Now seriously folks, I'm putting all these little pieces into a book proposal and I have an agent interested in selling the idea for me. Over the last few months a big bunch of you have written the greatest email to me saying you'd love to read The Alpha Male Book. Well, hold on to your hats, folks. It may just happen.

More New Hampshire Fun

Looks like a bunch of bloggers did New Hampshire yesterday. I'll be heading back up, just wasn't able to go yesterday. Dave Winer's got great pix.

Free Willy Doesn't Want To Be Free

Sometimes there are news headlines you just CANNOT improve on. This is from AP via Yahoo News, although you might think it's from The Onion.

This whale has a terrific branding problem.

In Memoriam

Doc, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. We love you. Your mother lives on in her lovely smile and her wonderful family.

How To Become An Alpha Male In 18 Easy Lessons: Lesson 18: My Alpha Boy

My son is just eight years old, but I think I've got a best-of-breed, certified, irresistible, terrific Alpha Male in the works here. My Alpha Boy has got the right stuff. My Alpha Boy knows what it takes. My Alpha Boy is everything a boy can be and it's wonderful to see. I want to mention 18 wonderful things about my Alpha Boy and wish him the best as I watch him grow into the man he'll soon become. A young man with all the best intentions. A good man. A brave man. A kind man. A man with all the virtues and vices of a real human being. Just a simple man. Just a simply great man.

1. My alpha boy is kind and loving to his mom -- you can't beat that.

2. My alpha boy takes little stuffed animals to school for the girls to take care of. He lets the girls set them in the corners of his desk, tuck them into little improvised beds and pull little Kleenex blankets up to their necks, their paws holding the edge of the blanket. The girls love this.

3. My alpha boy is zany and sometimes calls me Halley Elizabeth Suitt, or "Momlette", just to tease and annoy me.

4. My alpha boy has a friend at school that another kid was picking on. My boy went up to the mean kid and told him to leave him alone, he said, he was HIS FRIEND and said, "You got a problem with that?"

5. My alpha boy loves to sing.

6. My alpha boy loves to laugh.

7. My alpha boy loves to fart.

8. My alpha boy rides his bike at near death-defying speeds these days.

9. My alpha boy helps me dry the dishes..

10. My alpha boy continues to trick me, wearing his pants long and baggy so I won't notice he's not wearing socks. This is a fundamental independence he demands from his mother who really wants him to wear socks. He thinks socks are not cool.

11. I caught my alpha boy holding the door open at a fast food restaurant for an old man.

12. I caught my alpha boy wiping snot on his bed sheets while reading a Pokemon comic book. We call the big ones raisins.

13. I caught my alpha boy kissing his GI Joe's good night (in a rather manly way actually) and telling them to "hang in there."

14. My alpha boy is already good at fixing things in my house.

15. My alpha boy wants to drive my car.

16. My alpha boy still loves his Tonka dumptrucks, his crane, his backhoe and will not let me give any of them away to Goodwill.

17. My alpha boy is still crazy for firetrucks -- the big ones.

18. My alpha boy has taught me all the wonderful things I know, love and appreciate about men.

My Mom Never Told

My mom never told who she voted for. My dad used to kid her and tease her about it on election day. Try to get it out of her. She always considered it a point of honor, that it was private. She would not be coerced. She shared so much else with her five kids and her husband, but not that. Her vote was private.

Voting -- something private a woman does. Just like when we kids would try to rummage through her purse for something -- you learned fast that you didn't go into my mom's purse. Off limits.

Interesting to read Dave's take on the Graham speech. I heard another speech entirely and I will vote privately, as a woman, for the guy I like best. The guy I trust. The stand-up guy.

We women sit around a dinner table, a diner table, a cafe table, listening to men talk about politics. Sometimes we look like we're not listening. Sometimes our opinions are not taken seriously. Sometimes they think we don't know anything. But we know how to vote.

This was the thing that burned me up the most about the debacle referred to as the last presidential election. It was clear to me, as we came closer and closer to watching the election slip out of the hands of the people and into the pockets of the justices' robes in the Supreme Court, that none of us count. Women spend a lot of time feeling their opinions don't count. Interesting for all of us to get a dose of it. I just hope it doesn't happen that way ever again.

Bob Graham's Speech

Hard to blog ... this internet cafe has mucho cool tunes ... Eric Clapton is here singing Layla. Very laid back. Cappicino very delish.

Graham started with a funny anecdote about the first time he ever campaigned in New Hampshire (for another candidate a bunch of years back) and learned how up close and personal you can get with New Hampshire voters. He met a woman in front of a grocery store in Nashua, NH who took a pamphlet from him, said reading it , "Ruben Askew, oh, yes. I've met him twice. I've invited him to my home for lunch and dinner. If he actually comes to my house, I'll seriously consider voting for him."

Yes, these New Hampshirites with their early snowy primary expect to be wooed and won. Great fun to be here hearing these guys up close.

Graham makes you feel like you're in good hands. I liked what he said about Sea Biscuit. I think the same thing -- the movie's about working together to get through these hard times. The horse takes on an symbolic role in that movie, becoming a symbol of the underdog triumphing over adversity, thanks to the hopefulness and dedication of his team of jockey, owner, supporters -- especially the guys in the cheap seats routing for him. Graham said he wants to restore the sense of "oneness" in America. Yes, sir. And a sense of fairness. I agree.

Listen, Ev and Jason and All You Guys

Okay, do you KNOW what I had to do to get Dave to wear the Google shirt and me to wear the Blogger tee? Well, hell, moving mountains is easier.

And what thanks do I get?! Between breakfast and lunch you some how have mysteriously UPGRADED me to Blogger Pro, but shit, I don't know what the hell I'm doing on this new user interface. Please ... I can't deal.

So I should say Thanks, but I'm saying YIKES. Please don't go upgrading me without me noticing. It blows my mind.

Like for one thing, where's the POST button ... kindof important. And now I'll come clean and mention the SIGNOFF button on the new Blogger Vanilla interface is much much too tiny. It needs to be much bigger. Don't you know people who blog at work need a really big SIGNOFF button for when the boss comes by.

You Could Smile, Ya Know, It Won't Kill You

Dave and I are in an internet cafe in NH. He just showed me a picture of us in our GOOGLE AND BLOGGER shirts. I say to him ... "You could smile, ya know, it won't kill you."

He says, "I am smiling."

Lunch With Dave and Bob

Wow, so lunch with Dave Winer and Bob Graham at the Manchester NH Rotary Club was fun. When Dave took pix of Graham, I sat at the table alone stealing fish and pasta from his plate -- Dave's, that is -- don't tell him. Mmmm ... not bad. It was a buffet and I missed the fish completely.

There was a lot to like about Graham. I particularly liked the fact that he spends days working at various jobs. He told a story about working as an orderly in a nursing home for nine long hours. Very cool that he actually works. What would be really incredible is to work nine hours as an orderly and then get laid off. Now that's the economy we're enjoying now.

BTW, their press guy in DC sent me email REALLY fast with the name of the local guy travelling with Sen. Graham and they were all terrific and helpful. The guys at the Rotary Club were very hospitable -- especially my new friend Tom who sells insurance.

Only Members Of The News Media

From Sen. Graham's office --

The press staff assist Senator Graham in his communications with the print, television, and radio news media. Only members of the news media should contact the press office.

I contacted them this morning about us visiting New Hampshire. Let's see what happens.

Great Questions

Dave and I are headed up to New Hampshire. Not sure if Jim Moore will make the trip today, but likely he'll join us later in the week. Dave's already up and has great questions to ask the presidential candidates. Thank God I didn't sit next to this kid in school, I would have looked like a complete moron.

I've got only one question for every presidential hopeful -- "How do you plan to get us out of this Steinbeckian-Grapes-Of-Wrath Economy?"

Gluteus Maximus And Gluteus Medius

Working out this morning. Need to get my butt in gear. Summer's supposed to be an easy time to stay in shape, but I'm not finding that. I've been having so much trouble sticking to my routines lately after hurting my foot. Also, with this weird weather and alternating bouts of rain or jungle heat with horrible humidity, I don't want to be outside running around all that much. Even outdoor swimming is getting me nervous when the sky goes grey suddenly and the lightning starts sparking.

Meet Me At Buckman Tavern

I'm going to see if my fellow blogging patriots can meet me at Buckman Tavern here in Lexington to start our trip up to New Hampshire to meet presidential candidates. There's something very exciting about living in this town where farmers and blacksmiths and candlemakers -- just regular folks -- took up arms, or more importantly, took up an idea that changed the world.

I live in a history book with 3D pop-up colonial houses, American flags, and a grassy field called Battle Green where they mixed up blood with nicely trimmed suburban grass to change the way we live. I like to imagine those guys sitting around drinking something like Sam Adams and finding out the British were marching their direction and deciding to give them a run for their money. I can't help wanting to be back in that passionate place where your life, your words, your country and your politics are as alive and personal to you as the cold beer stein you hold in your hand. A place where you swear to your buddies you'll fight to your death to keep your family safe and your children free and brave for generations to come.

Patriot's Day

Here's a poem I wrote about Patriot's Day:

Patriots Day in Lexington, April 15, 2002
by Halley Suitt

I saw a Minuteman,
Get in a minivan,
Down by Battle Green.
I saw a Redcoat,
Chatting on a cell phone,
Press one for land, two for sea.

The Regulars are coming!
The Regulars are coming!
To our town on a regular basis,
On a regular day in April
They bloom in colors bright
Poppies red,
Crocuses blue,
Snowdrops white,

They've come complete, with fife and drum
Just to remind us
That behind us, at Buckman's Tavern
They'd had enough of April Tax Time.
And from that day, as shots rang out,
Tea would pour free
And brave they could be
To make a new place for you and me.