All Right, Mr. DeMille, I'm Ready For My Close-Up

Ut-oh. Rageboy's making movies now. They say fiction is the best revenge, but a gothic horror action-adventure blockbuster that generates $250 million would surely offer some small solace.

Home Computer-less

When I scoot out of here tonight I'm off for three days w/o a computer, since I just moved and still haven't set it up, so if anyone wants to post for me -- here's my blogger password. name: halleys password: jamandjelly

Wait! Yikes! Jeez Louise! I guess that's not a great idea after all. Forget I ever said it.

Minding My Own Business

Holy Heck. The post below seems to have generated some heat. Let me answer a few questions.

Dave Winer poses the Zen koan If business books are men's romance novels, what are women's business books? What the heck does that mean? Perhaps I need to linger longer over this existential question. Here's my favorite women's business book. This woman knew how to take care of business.

Meanwhile, Shelley says I'm a sexist .... no, no, she doesn't ACTUALLY SAY that because she got in such a mix-up recently with Doc when she called him one, so now she spells it stealthily. She suggests I might be a ... s_x_st. Shelley, I think you mean romance novels are sexist, doncha? [BTW, Doc thanks for blogging me, you're the best.]

All I meant is that business books are marketed to men like escapist fiction -- there's a brave hero who comes up with a brilliant idea and saves the day, or saves the market or some such. I like the idea -- we need heros out there, especially in this economy. That's all I ever intended.

Business Books

I've finally figured it out. Business books are romance novels for men. The good ones make you swoon. They inspire. They make your heart beat wildly. They sweep you off your feet. They promise action-packed seduction scenes and misty-eyed happy endings. Yes, business books are bodicerippers* for boys.

[*Thanks to Cathy Cook for this mot juste.]

Sorry Dave

I've been talking with Dave Winer, asking him stuff, reading his blog, bugging him for info and much to my GIGANTIC embarrassment ... realized I hadn't even blogrolled him! Jeez! Sorry, man! Where's Miss Manners when you need her?! Very bad netiquette! A thousand pardons.

Hate?

I sure hate moving. The noise of that packing tape alone. It really gets on your nerves. And yikes, my Visor cradle in box 3 and my computer in box 18 and my teapot ... god knows where. I spent the whole weekend chanting, "ashes to ashes, dust to dust, you can't take it with you anyway," so as to mitigate dreaded feelings of loss and confusion and that dark moment of realization when you realize you left behind your much loved hard-boiled egg slicer and other key memorabilia. And talk about old Easter candy. How could I have so much stale Easter candy hidden in one house? I was forced to toss a quarryfull of rockhard petrified marshmellow peeps.

Lawyers, Guns And Money

Once again I have to apologize for not mentioning a particularly great blog and adding it to my blogroll -- it's just sheer laziness on my part. I've been reading Denise Howell's Bag and Baggage for quite a while and it gets better and better. As a lawyer in Southern California with a mind that's sharp as a tack, it's not good to miss even one day (she's mega-prolific) of her blog. Check out August 15th about women in the "Legally Blond" generation -- her piece on Margaret Heffernan's Fast Company article on how women rule.

I'm biased because she lives in my old neck of the woods and I get a big thrill listening to her recount freeway trips, restaurant visits and other So Cal amusements I sure miss here in Boston. When the weather starts to cool here and I'm jonesing for Manhattan Beach, I'll be visiting her palmtree-lined, azure-tinted Pacific Ocean musings even more.

All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey, I went for a walk, on a winter's day, I'd be safe and warm, if I was in LA, California Dreaming, on such a winter's day.

Now to go add her to my blogroll -- wish me luck -- I always screw it up.

They Swim

Doc mentioned yesterday that two skinny guys he met at a conference had the secret to keeping fit -- they swim. Doc says he plans to do more of it. Strangely, this has been helping me get stronger and leaner and more fit as well, but I think the big secret of swimming is that it forces you to stand there showing EVERYTHING and boy is that a big motivator to keep fit. It's about as close to naked as you can get and that certainly helps you take your diet seriously.

Here's another fitness secret that really works for me -- the videotapes called THE FIRM (and I know there's a man's "Firm Workout" tape too.) They are a combination of weight lifting, aerobics and general exercises. They do something that other exercise tapes don't do. They REALLY make you work your ASS -- literally. You do a lot of SQUATTING. Try it. It's tough as hell. They also do a lot of leg and thigh and butt exercises that really get you going. If you wonder why your flabby ass doesn't look so good, it's because we really have a culture of butt-sitters now and we barely even squat to do anything. One exception -- kids -- watch them in a playground -- they do a lot of squatting. Be careful though, it is hell on your knees.

Makes You Wonder

It's just so miserably hot in Boston today -- has been for the whole week -- makes you feel like you're half going out of your mind. Makes you wanna say, "Hey, I never signed up for a Faulkner novel, get me the hell out of here." Makes you wonder how it can be so summery but still it's getting dark as early as 7:30 now -- more like fall. Makes you wonder if you might just do a little road rage on the dipshit in the minivan ahead of you, just for fun, just for no good reason. Makes you wonder if you could say something terrible and thoughtless and just plain mean, that you'd regret for about a lifetime or two, to someone you really care about and you could never take it back. Makes you wonder about a lot of things.

Can Halley Come Out And Play?

Been thinking about the neighborhood, we all have these funny gang names like halleys@yahoo.com and ewriter@bellsouth.com and we travel in a big herd and go knock on one another's email doors and say, "Hey, wanna play?" And we play all day and all night and we get dirty faces and we have little tiffs and we call each other names now and then, but it sure is fun as hell to get to know the kids in the neighborhood. I'd be so lost without you guys.

Be There or Be Square

Get to Denver for the coolest conference coming up on the calendar DIGITAL ID WORLD.

Cell Phone Shell Phone Hell Phone

Hello? Hello? Is that you? Are you there? What? I think you're breaking up. I said "breaking up" No, I mean ... your voice, ... wait, I'm just going through ... huh? Wait, there, that's better, can you hear me? No, I'm not going through a break-up, I said going through a tunnel, I meant I couldn't hear you. What? Hold on ... it'll just be a minute. Yep, it's me. Shit! I lost you.

Sorry, yeah, that was me yelling "shit!" Okay, I really thought I lost you there for a minute. Uh huh? Okay, what time? 10:15? What? 2:15? Wait? 2:50? I can't hear you. I think I hit a dead zone here, just hang on. There, that's better. Damn! I did lose them.

That you? This is really getting on my nerves. Okay, yes, the 3:50 show, uh huh. Yep, I'll meet you inside. You get the tickets. ... Yes, I heard you. Right, I know 3:50 okay. Great, good plan. What did people do before they had cell phones, how did they ever connect? Hello?! You there? ... Shit.

Listen Up!

Last summer I worked on an ecommerce project at Cap Gemini E&Y in Cambridge. It was great to work with John Jordan -- what did the WSJ call him -- something along the lines of eminent researcher and brainiac -- but even more fun in a way, was meeting Liz Ewing, his research assistant, an intern from Duke University, who did some great digging, sifting, sorting, researching, editing and writing for the project. She and I really hit it off.

Liz went to Spain for her fall semester and unlike most carefree college juniors, spent the time there in an uneasy fashion -- since her mother was home in Texas fighting ovarian cancer. By this spring, things were worse and Liz's mom passed away recently.

Liz has a blog called Liz'n Up where she's posted her writings about her mom's illness and death. Don't miss it.