Great Word of Mouth Under The Tuscan Sun

A friend called and talked me into dinner at Macaroni Grill and a movie called Under The Tuscan Sun last night. I had a lot of work to do and shouldn't have given in, but I did. The dinner was great (boy was it packed) and the movie was greater. I'll bet it's getting great word of mouth.

You'll love Under The Tuscan Sun if you've ever been in love.

You'll love Under The Tuscan Sun if you've never been in love.

You'll love Under The Tuscan Sun if you've ever been to Italy.

You'll love Under The Tuscan Sun if you've never been to Italy.

You'll love Under The Tuscan Sun if you've ever been dumped or found out your husband was having an affair and wants a divorce.

You'll love Under The Tuscan Sun if you've never been dumped, are having an affair and want a divorce.

You'll love Under The Tuscan Sun if you're straight or gay, man or woman, young or old.

You'll love Under The Tuscan Sun if you love pussy, if you love cock, if you love both.

You'll love Under The Tuscan Sun particularly if you really should be home writing, doing laundry and not going out.

In Memoriam

Kathryn Suitt

November 24, 1918 - September 26, 1997

On My Mom's Refrigerator

A friend recently mentioned when I got the piece about blogging published in Harvard Business Review that it would be just the kind of thing to send to your mother to put on her refrigerator to show off to her neighbors how proud she is of you. I thought it was an interesting comment and it started an interesting conversation that went along these lines.

First, and the friend meant no disrespect or harm, my mom doesn't have a refrigerator. Actually, I mean to say, I don't have a mom. In fact I don't have any parents any more since they've both passed away.

She used to have a refrigerator, she may even have a refrigerator in heaven, but she doesn't have one in our old kitchen in Connecticut, I'm sure of that. Someone else lives there now.

And then I explained to him that there was actually something great about both my parents being gone. It sounds strange, but both of them had high hopes and high expectations for me that I sometimes found daunting. Now that they are gone, I don't think it's at all surprising that I'm succeeding in my writing more than I ever did when they were alive.

I knew how much they wanted me to succeed and how much they liked putting things I did up on their fridge when they were alive. Now that they're gone, I can do things they wouldn't necessarily approve of, I can do things that are NOT successful, I can fail and fuck up and fall on my face. And ready for the big joke of it -- nothing helps you succeed faster than failing first. So in some way, the biggest blessing of their passing away is leaving me free to fail and therefore able to succeed.

Blogging is all about trying things, failing, not trying to be perfect and just throwing words at a wall, like pasta to see if it's ready. It's a much easier way for me to write than any I've tried. It's enormously freeing.

There are a few other things at work as well with parents who inconveniently continue to stay alive. First of all, a writer who writes about his family and his life makes a lot of other people in his family very nervous. Mostly, a writer is better off NOT writing about his family. But, really, when you come down to it, what is a writer really writing about if he/she is not writing about his/her real life and real family? So you find yourself in a bind. Once your parents are gone, you are freed up in a way you might not expect. You look back and realize you might have been self-censuring or simply NOT writing about things because you didn't want to incur the wrath of your family.

This is actually the anniversary of my mother's death. The arithmetic never works. I know she died in 1997 and I know this is 2003 and it should mean she died six years ago, but it doesn't feel like that. It feels like it happened last night. I may have been glib here talking about her refrigerator, but let me say, it was certainly with a tear in my eye that I answered my friend's question -- of how I will never be able to put another piece of my work up on her fridge with her funny little magnets. I miss her. I wish she WERE here to enjoy my success. I thank her for all the wonderful things she taught me -- love of words, love of books, love of birds, flowers, gardens, people. Of course I owe her so much and I would never have become the person I am or the writer I am without her love and kindness. I would have never been a writer without her taking my hand at age 6, excited as can be, pulling me down the garden path to watch birds with her, pointing out a scarlet tanager, showing me the different birds in her Peterson's guide.

I love you Mom, wherever you are. Please put this on your fridge.

How To Ruin A Perfectly Good Salesforce In Ten Easy Steps

Here's the chapter summary with links. Notice no links yets? Well, that's because I haven't written anything. Soon, soon, soon, be patient. I'm writing a few hundred other things at this point.

Introduction: How To Ruin A Perfectly Good Salesforce In Ten Easy Steps -- September 13, 2003

Step One: Focus Group -- October 6, 2003

Step Two: Can I Get That In Writing? -- DATE

Step Three: And Another Thing -- DATE

Step Four: Meat Eaters -- DATE

Step Five: Location, Location, Location -- DATE

Step Six: Shake Your Money-Maker Girlfriend -- DATE

Step Seven: Yeah, Right, Sure -- DATE

Step Eight: All About HQ -- DATE

Step Nine: War Horses and War Stories -- DATE

Step Ten: Go Team Go -- DATE

September Honor Roll Winner Today -- John Porcaro, Who Else?

I've been reading John's weblog on and off for quite awhile and what put me over the edge was the great stuff he writes about his family. Then I noticed in his bio he's one of 12 kids himself -- holy heck -- no wonder he is so good at rolling with the punches! I'm one of five and I get it.

Meanwhile, I'm about to start my "How To Ruin A Perfectly Good Salesforce In Ten Easy Steps" (First chapter available at BloggerCon BTW.) One of the natural antagonisms in this world is between sales people and marketing people, so John get ready to HATE what I'm gonna write. Still, I hope you can give me the marketers' point of view when I'm sorely in need of it. I won't hide my bias -- I'm behind the salesman 100% -- just the way my bread is buttered.

Check out John's blog if you haven't yet and send him a congratulations. My other two fav Microsoft bloggers are Beth Goza and Robert Scoble, but since I've met them, I can't bestow the September Honor Roll Winner award on those guys. Sorry!

Veritable Epidemic

Well, there's been another outbreak of Stealth Disco around my house. My kid is completely addicted and just won't stop! Of course, don't miss this today.

Speaking Of Lunch

Just saw in my referrer log that someone did a Google search for "Lunch At Legal Seafood" and I was about the 7th hit on the list of 1500. I'm just about sure a search engine that gives bloggers a black eye and features NO BLOGGING RESULTS will fight it out with Google if they are not already doing that ... but I'll wait and see. Meanwhile, we sure have amazing reach.

And I gotta run off to lunch, so catch you later guys.

Salty See

I keep meaning to blog about seeing salt. And yesterday when it started to rain, I remembered I need to blog about that too -- seeing raindrops.

I know you're probably sick of me gawking at this beautiful world with my new post-op eye, but one very unusual thing that keeps happening is seeing enormous detail that I was NOT seeing before.

That's what I meant about salt. A few days after my surgery, I was sitting down to eat some scrambled eggs and I picked up the salt shaker and nearly jumped into the air as I saw all these big white boulders actually coming out the holes! It was amazing. It was sad then suddenly. I realized I'd gotten accustomed to NOT seeing salt. I simply couldn't see it coming out of a salt shaker. I thought it was something you really couldn't see unless you looked really really close.

This made me realize how I must have been over- or under-salting everything for years!

And as a writer, I felt really sad that I hadn't been seeing it. It looks very pretty and rather lively to see these little white dots flying out the holes.

And then there's rain. Must have been a week or so after my surgery. I had gone outside and I had the hood of my raincoat lowered and then, I turned and had the strangest sensation -- I ducked -- as there seemed to be all these things falling on me -- it was like a box of clear soda straws had fallen from a high shelf onto my head -- I was noticing all these little things shooting in my direction. It was rain. Individual raindrops. My sight is so new, nothing is routine and as people who have seen these things for years would take no notice of them, I'm reacting like someone's throwing a ball right in my face. I startle easily the first time I notice something that had been a blur before. It was incredible to see raindrops. Incredibly beautiful. Although rather disconcerting at first.

I still have the old eye to compare -- shut one, look out of the other. What a dirty, smudgy little window pane it is, poor thing. Soon to be fixed up like the other one. I watched the rain with the bad eye yesterday as I waited for my son to arrive home on the school bus. There were no drops, just a hazy greyness and some puddles. Flip to the good eyes, someone is writing fine lines etched against pine trees, silver sparks of rain, I'm living in a gorgeous piece of artwork, a 3D masterpiece you can actually reach out and touch. Ahhh.

Pile of Work, Tidy Tidy House

Isn't it amazing how much housework you can get done when you really shouldn't be cleaning but you'd do anything to avoid getting something written? I've got a heck of a deadline on a piece and a really tidy house. Ut oh!

Perma-Scoble

Holy heck! I finally figured out where Scoble's PERMA-LINKS are! All it took was about $5000 worth of cataract surgery! A small price to pay! Come on, Robert, can't you make them a little bigger.

His permalinks are the microscopic dots at the end of date! I love your blog man -- especially because it's in a big big font, but I honestly could NEVER find your permalinks and have wanted to link to you a million times but didn't.

Now it's all different. I'm gonna perma-scoble every chance I get.

Anyway, Scoble's piece on why he blogs is excellent -- don't miss it.

And may I say, your links are nothing compared to some other bloggers' permalinks which are either invisibile or simply not there. I run into this problem all the time even with my good eyes. If I read something I like and it's hard to find the link, I say, "screw it" and move on.

Hilary Duff and Keanu Reeves Angelwear

Hey, round out that wardrobe folks. Don't you want a Keanu tee that looks cool like this and supports a great charity? Wish he'd offer one of those sexy long black matrix raincoats too.

And Hilary Duff will sew up a cute tank top for you. Wonder if they deliver to your door, now that would be mega-cool.

Road To Hell Paved With Good Intentions

So much for getting up early to blog -- whoops! And it's garbage day, so time to drag those newspapers and cans and bottles and everything else curbside. Back in a minute.

The Librarian Who Wasn't Too Sexy

On an earlier post, I mentioned there's a new Librarian Action Figure. Jessica Baumgart had mentioned it and a reader named Chuck just sent me the link. Well, wow, I can see she's not the kind of girl to get fired for being too sexy, is she?

And even better, a reader named Gerry pointed me to here where you can buy her! Guess what? She talks -- I mean -- she says SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And The Winner Is Ms. Sindy Canyon

Okay, this is a direct blog heist from Chris Pirillo. Yes, he points to Jason who has created the absolute KILLER APP -- the Porno Name Generator. They gave me so many to choose from:

Morgan Wild
Nikki Treats
Summer Cheeks

But then there was Sindy Canyon, and I tell you, it just can be beat. Especially for a God-loving Christian such as myself, to have that word SIN right there front and center. I love it. Thanks Chris for pointing out the site, I mean, Adam Rider.

What The Fuck?!

Remember kids, set a bad guy on fire, blow up the family next door, watch blood gush out of someone's eye that you just made swiss cheese of with your machine gun, but don't use vulgar language! Isn't TV wonderful?!

And That Was Sacramento or Sacremento?

Sorry, I couldn't help noticing this typo in Mark Glaser's excellent piece on whether bloggers need to be edited in the UCS Annaberg Online Journalism Review:

"Many newspaper sites, however, are queasy at the thought of posting unedited copy online by anyone. Editing a blog makes it stronger, in their opinion. Paul, of the Sacremento Bee, says everybody could use an editor. "That's the difference between a professional writer and an amateur," he said. "The professional knows he needs an editor, and the amateur thinks he doesn't need editing."

Just teasing Mark. BTW, I think it's an excellent piece and I'm throwing into my folder for backup materials when we all get to BloggerCon to discuss these things.

My opinion right now? If you are a media organization, ask a blogger if they would like to be COPYedited. I think most bloggers would say yes -- I know I would. If you have more than one copy editor, let them pick who they want to work with. Ask if they want to have their editorial content reviewed by an editor. If they don't, rely on them to seek out an editor for more contentious issues relating to politics or decency as the need arises. Write a blogger's pre-nup about their employment with your organization. Nice to spell things out up front. If they don't like your terms from day one, don't start the relationship.

Blue Waters Good For Prayer

Off to go swimming. Hoping AKMA recovers quickly and easily from surgery. Will pray at the bottom of the pool, that seems to send out the right waves. Been praying for a bunch of folks today. Blue goggles, blue bathing suit, blue waters. Nice.

Too Pretty For Harvard?

Interesting story about a too pretty Harvard Librarian suing the university for discriminating against her because she was too "sexy" -- very interesting. Jessica was just telling me the other day about the Librarian Action Figure -- wonder what she looks like.

Are We All On The Same Page?

Bloggers are being muzzled, edited, fired -- whoa!

Lots to discuss at BloggerCon on all this.

Vanguard Dejeuner

David Weinberger's down in DC at the TTI Vanguard conference. I used to work there, with these guys: Alpha Males all. A rough, rough bunch. I better give David some advice. He doesn't speak until tomorrow. I'm not sure what to tell him. It's a voracious group. David, I'm afraid they're going to eat your lunch. Or simply eat you for lunch. Just don't resist too much, go quietly.

Listening To The Man In Black

Really gonna miss this guy. I love Johnny Cash. Some country singers have the most distinctive voices, their heads might have been whittled out of wood like a handmade guitar the way the sounds resonate through them. Johnny Cash had this terrific flat, dry, dull, but slightly getting-over-a-cold nasal sound that reverberated with family, friends, prison cells, boxcars, fields to be harvested, women, wine, another hand of cards to be dealt, love of children, love of country, hatred of injustice. I will miss him..

Pick A War, Any War

Do you really think Bush's economic war on the middle class, is any less lethal than his military war? With legislation on bankruptcy pushing so many people over the edge of the cliff, taxation that favors the wealthiest in this country and the vaporizing of 3 million jobs, you don't have to wear camo and take a trip to Iraq to be taken out by Bush. You can be murdered right here at home in this economic holocaust. And don't they dovetail perfectly? The $87 billion he'd like us to give him for military spending and the defiicit he's building should be sure to get rid of the middle class for once and for all, and turn the good old USA into a bankrupt third world country.

Welcome Back To The LET THEM EAT CAKE Economy

Scott Rosenberg nails it with his wonderful piece on FCC Chairman Powell's girlish shock and dismay that others in this country might oppose his heavy-handed inside-the-beltway plutocratic powers by actually organizing a grass-roots effort counter to his wishes. Check this out:

"Here we have it: a "concerted grass-roots effort"! What a horrible thing! I think this is the first time in my life I have heard the term "grass-roots" used in a negative way. To most of us, "grass-roots" symbolizes healthy organizing of the citizenry beyond the corrupting influence of big business lobbying and entrenched interests. It is our democracy at its best. To Powell, somehow, it has become a term of opprobrium.

It couldn't possibly be that his policy was so absurdly wrong for today's United States that it managed to unite the liberals at Moveon.org and the NRA against it. Nah. It must be a grass-roots conspiracy! Like so many others in the Bush administration, Powell seems to feel that his ideology is beyond public accountability. With Bush's poll numbers sinking week by week, these public servants may eventually learn just how wrong they are."

I have to say I was in Washington DC for SuperNova Conference this summer and a veritable police line-up of FCC mucky-mucks who report to Powell were there spouting bullshit on a panel I had to listen to. My take-away was the same as Scott's -- DO THESE GUYS HAVE A CLUE? At one point, one them said in the most patronizing way that they'd be happy to hear what those "outside the beltway" thought about FCC policy. My response in July was close to vomitting, honestly. It was clear the patronizing tone was all about not giving a shit what those outside the beltway had to say.

I'm seeing this more and more everywhere I go. They said a tiny little problem the French had before the French Revolution was the elite having eradicated the middle class. It made things a little bit unstable. It polarized people a tiny bit, un petite peu, quoi. And next thing you know, you have a queen who allegedly doesn't "get" why everyone is rioting for a crust of bread and she says, "Why can't they just eat fancy little petit-fours like us, we've got platters and platters of the stuff here at the chateau." Whether she actually said this or not, the extremes of rich and poor in any country make for some very interesting dynamics.

I know so many people out of work and I'm noticing a subtle thing now about this. People who are working find it more and more difficult to know how to react, connect or simply communicate with all their unemployed friends. There is a gigantic divide happening now -- we're watching just what Bush wanted to have happen -- the end of the middle class as we knew it. It's gone. But all those unemployed folks are sure going to have a lot of time in the next year to shape this election. Fasten your seatbelts guys and look forward to the fun. We're building a heck of a roller coaster.

Blogger's Wad

Ut oh, I'm afraid I've kindof shot my blogger's wad already this morning by writing and responding to a bunch of great emails at the crack of dawn. Sorry, guys, I should have saved it for you all, but these things happen.

Actually, today's September 23rd and I happen to know and have it on very good authority that this is a great great day.

Please, go to Starbuck's today. Invite someone to go with you. It will be a good idea. Something fun will happen there for you. Get one of their cards -- I love mine.

Now go, and report back immmediately!

What A Blog Might Be

What if it's simple? Really simple. A Metcalfe kind of thing. Each blog is a node on the network. There is no blog without all the others. Rather like The Borg. Maybe we should call it The Blog. We're looking at a very big network of intelligence being born. As each blog goes on, like a light going from dim to bright, the network gains in exponential strength, beauty and brilliance. Add your light.

Nice New Blog -- Tales of Scheherazade

Okay, guys, keep your pants on. It's true, Scheherazade is just about the sexiest name this side of literature, but this tale-teller does not live in a harem. Check out this great piece she blogged about people being hesitant to blog -- as if you had to get it right all the time. I agree with her whole-heartedly. Just write, write, write your pants off. Opps, there go the pants again.

Karlin Carnivale!

Celebrate, celebrate, dance to her music! She's the best. An unsung heroine to be sure, so sing her praises! And best of all she calls me a "blogeuse" like a great musical hall "chanteuse" -- very cool. Get over to her blog and indulge -- very delicious stuff there.

Yes, Gotta Check That Horoscope

It is Monday for goodness sakes, and even though things can look glum, and they do for me today, maybe we're in for some surprises after all ... Check yours out and here's mine:

You cannot ask for a much better day, dear Aquarius. A great deal of positive energy is coming your way, and you should look out for the opportunities that are literally hiding out on your front porch. You may be going through a period of significant upheaval in your life right now, and you should look to clear away all the things that have limited you in the past. The future is wide open. Empower yourself to make the drastic changes necessary to build your life the exact way you want it to be.

No matter how sad you are, physically ill you are, out of work you are, in debt you are, worried you are, falling in or out of love you are, I say don't let it get you down. Can't get out? Then stay inside and flip on the radio -- listen to all the beautiful music people have made -- isn't it amazing? Can you get outside? You're so lucky! Enjoy the bustle of the city or the quiet of nature. Go take a walk in this beautiful world. It's quite a miracle. Who thought it up anyway? A tree here, a river there, small stone to hold in your palm which someday another person you'll never know will hold in his hand, long after you're gone. But don't think about that! Think about how alive you are today! You are terrific!

Everybody Loves Raymond Apparently

Last night, the Emmys proclaimed that Everybody Loves Raymond and of course, The West Wing. The networks would like you to believe Everybody Loves TV, but once you get into blogging and IRC and IM and email, I think something snaps and your attention span for TV dwindles to near zero.

Wait, I guess I do watch a few things, I watch CNBC to catch some business news. I watch CSPAN to keep up with political stuff. I watch ... well, with my son, I watch a little Nickelodeon, some Cartoon Network, but mostly pray he doesn't ask me to sit down and watch, because I can't stand sitting there passively, letting it suck my eyeballs out and not letting me "get" any information from it.

Here's what the other online media have made me feel about TV -- bored, frustrated and ansy since I just can't put my hands through the screen and pull out wonderful stuff, the way I can online. When I'm online and I read something interesting, I can take off on a deep dive for lots more information within seconds. When someone says something interesting on TV (this happens about once every 3 weeks), I can't go on an instantaneous hunt. I can't get INSIDE it. There's nothing in there, and it doesn't WANT me in there asking more questions.

That's the weird feeling I get from TV -- "You, just sit there, don't ask us anything, don't think, and YOU, hey, you, go buy some crap we're advertising." Dead, dead, dead.

I suppose Tivo (which people still rave about) helps one feel they are more engaged with the boob tube, but still, it's so thin a medium, what's there that's worth getting anyway?

I even detest the "posture" you must assume as a TV viewer, as compared to an online participant. You all know the drill, come home, tired out, drop your stuff by the door, flop onto the couch, nearly supine, flick on the tube, eat some dreadful food, drink something bad for you. You look like a wounded soldier watching TV in terms of body position -- or the overused "couch potato" although even that suggests a certain rooted earthiness TV watchers rarely exhibit. Gives potatoes a bad name. The online "viewer" is active -- thus the name "surfer" -- a body full of energy, strength, engagement, split-second interaction. A surfer is alert, poised to tear off in any direction, on a wave, on a hunt, digging up info, zipping from here to there, linking in a flash to this or that new thought. Interactive is a good term. You are connecting -- the "inter" part -- and you are much more energetic -- the "active" part.

I wonder if there's any going back. I can barely stand to turn the thing on, even when I'm alone, it hardly makes me feel better, actually makes me feel worse. Between terrorism and war, it's also become "The Bad News Box" in my psyche.

One last thing that seems just plain embarrassing about TV. Most of the stories are so pathetically "manufactured" and overproduced. They take a plain homey little hurricane, some nice girl from south of the border named Isabel and they have to turn her into a Femme Fatale of weather. It's now standard fare. Take some 5 second clip of a guy running away from some police cars on a highway and play it 800 times in 8 minutes and turn it into ... whatever the hell they decide. Take some politician, hint at some dastardly deed he's done, make it into this minute's scandal, sell some diapers, sell some toaster pastry, more at 11:00 but by 11:00, the fickleness of TV always wins out and the old scandal is over and some new junk is taking its place, the networks helping reinforce the notion that ALL their stories are made-up, bogus and completely biodegradable.

But I'm not being fair. There has been one major improvement in TV lately. At last, the medium fits the message. With the new flat panel displays, we can literally see TV in its actual depth -- wafer thin.

September Honor Roll Gives Karlin Big Honour Today

Yes, she's my pick of the day. Hey, if you aren't reading the absolutely fabulous Karlin Lillington, you're nowhere, man. Check it out. Techno/culture seriously rocks. I'm so glad I remembered WE HAVEN'T MET, for a minute there I thought we had.

Church

Off to church with a boatload of folks to pray for. It's the sixth year anniversary of my mom's death in a few days. The date crept up on me this year, I didn't feel it so sorely as earlier years. Her death was very painful, very sad, but on the upside, I thank God for the clarity it gave me and the growth I experienced during that time. It was no fun, but it gave me a jolt into that sacred realm called "Life's Too Short" helping me focus on what really matters and what really doesn't.