Not In My Back Yard!

I have some truly wild animals in my backyard. I have this circus of daredevil squirrels that flip and fly and fight and go nutty out my kitchen window. They are clowns.

And then these dark and odd wild turkeys. They travel as a gang -- about 13 in their posse -- and there's something menacing about them. They have dark rubbery necks and they are really large -- bigger than big pigs. When they get in a bad mood, they rear up and start flapping their wings and show off their big tail feathers like peacocks. I really don't like them and wish they'd go away.