In Case You Thought Astrology Was In Any Way Accurate

Great, my horoscope says I'm really lucky and that if I fell down, I'd fall on a $20 bill. Yeah, right. And into the arms of someone devastating. Not exactly.

Okay, let's try a little reality check. They got one thing right -- I did fall down yesterday -- but as for good luck, no $20 bill in sight. Instead I landed in a pile of mud, dirt and weeds and the only devastating part was how damned painful it was ...

"If you were a cereal, you'd definitely be Lucky Charms, that's how expansive your good fortune is right now. Put it this way: if you tripped on a curb, you'd fall onto a twenty dollar bill -- or into the arms of someone totally devastating. That doesn't mean you should look for patches of the sidewalk to fall over, however. Just proceed with your normal plans. Leave the lucky twists up to the cosmos."