Teapot Crisis

I'm having a helluva teapot crisis of late. One gave out about a month ago, the poor old thing's handle just gave way and that was the black one. I have (had) one black one, one white one. Rah, rah, diversity and all that.

So this morning the white one lost its bamboo handle and tea went flooding all over my kitchen. So now the white one's kaput.

Two teapots gone in two months. I do put them through their paces.

The real problem is how hard it is to get an even remotely decent teapot in this Boston Tea Party town of ours. Or the whole of the United States for that matter. You'd think it would be easy, but it's not.

People make all these fancy teapots around here, just for show, like idiotic teapots that look like bee hives or taxicabs or other stupid stuff. But I want a real teapot -- one of those plain English things you notice at depressing moments in Tom Stoppard plays. That's the kind of pot I want -- very very very plain and simple. Either that brown color or the dark blue. The workhorse teapot. Unadorned. Unadorable. Solid and silent and stoic.