Shake Your Honky Butt, Boy!

"OK, OK. I'm white. Very white. Pale white. Pasty white. Wonder-Bread white. Gray-haired, white-bearded white. Never-in-the-sun white. Just white. That picture up in the corner is color-corrected to give me the appearance of a healthy tone. It's a Photoshop lie. Actually, I'm vampirish. Bloodless. Practically transparent. Colorless. Odorless. Tasteless (just ask the FCC). White."

Jeff Jarvis has written the funniest piece here and yes, he's more than risen to the challenge of recommending ten new voices.