"I Found The Ocean!"

My kid is playing a new videogame Test Drive Off Road Wide Open. He's in Hawaii in a Hummer that lets him drive up and down volcanos, through lava, after a while -- I've asked three times why his tires don't melt or catch on fire -- he says "they're modified" -- "for what?" I ask -- "they're modified for lava -- everything in my Hummer is modified." Okay, right sure. The graphics are gorgeous but taking the 45 degree angle up the side of a volcano and then rushing the rim to come plummeting down into a pool of boiling lava -- well, just not my idea of a good time.

A mom can breathe a little easier when he yells out, "I found the ocean!"

And considering it's Hawaii, I figured he'd have to find some water at some point. "Modified" or not, his tires can use the cooling off I figure.

But talk about "OFF ROAD!" He hits the beach and drives RIGHT ACROSS THE WATER, drives right up along side a sailboat and then veers off towards a glorious rocky beach where big waves hit big boulders with mile high spray.

I'm trying to imagine how I'll get him out of a Hummer that drives on the ocean, into church clothes and off to hear the oh-so-dull-now story of Jesus H. Christ who was just a guy who walked on water. In today's episode, Palm Sunday, he rides a mule into town and people make fun of him. Tough sell. Only a jerk would pick a mule for a vehicle, any gamer knows that.