Bush Orders Justin and Brittney To Wed

President Bush signed into law today the Timberlake-Spears bill, which requires the two stars to wed within 48 hours to spare the nation any more unusual sexual highjinks. "I think these young people need to set a new moral tone for the nation, before they suffer a total Sodom and Gomorrah-like meltdown," the President said from the Oval Office. He has made the White House available to them for the wedding with the President himself serving as best man and Laura Bush undertaking the responsibilities of Brittney's maid of honor. "They are giving our daughters very bad ideas," Laura admitted.