Bush Passes Blogger Full Employment Act

President Bush signed new legislation into law today, heralding a new era in media freedom with the BLOGGER FULL EMPLOYMENT ACT (The "BFEA"). This legislation ensures that all bloggers must now report to McDonald's to man the counters during the dinner and graveyard shifts immediately or if they resist employment, be sent directly to Guantanamo Bay. Bush mentioned in a speech today at The Heritage Foundation that, "An employed blogger is happy blogger -- but even better, a blogger too busy to blog is the best blogger." President Bush graciously took the first question from favorite in the press corps, Helen Thomas of AP, who asked "Is there a correlation between McDonald's being the only authorized employer of bloggers in the new BFEA and Mrs. Kroc's donation to National Public Radio?" President Bush declined to answer but did offer Ms. Thomas a happy meal.

"The BLOGGER FULL EMPLOYMENT ACT was spawned in the heartland of this big, beautiful bi-partisan nation. There were calls for reform from all sides of the political community, especially journalists," the President explained. "My friend Karl Rove, and I were sharing a Big Mac at the McDonalds in Crawford when we got talking about some guy named Andrew Sullivan." Apparently Mr. Rove finally got the president's attention when he explained how dangerous bloggers with a lot of time on their hands could be, certainly beyond Level Red in terms of security risks and that fully employed bloggers posed far less of a threat as weapons of mass media destruction, than unemployed bloggers might. Rove reasoned astutely that "an employed blogger quickly becomes the employer's problem, not ours."