Monday, December 29, 2003

Good Ways To Waste Time At Work

When I taught 1st Grade, the kids had a perfect time wasting manoeuvre -- actually two -- that they employed on a regular basis and I used to smile secretly at all the effort they put into both activities.

One of course was the classic PENCIL. SHARPENING ACTIVITY. This meant you could get up and go over to the other side of the room and lollygag around in the line for sharpening pencils. What I loved to watch was the pre-activity to pencil sharpening, which, I'm sure you're familiar with, is the industrious pencil point breaking. They would go to great lengths to break the points off their pencils and then look as it it they had no hand it in, rather it was a sorrowful fate that had befallen them and must be reconciled immediately.

The second of course was BATHROOM VISITING with a partner. This was way more fun because it meant you got to take a friend to go cruise the hall for what seemed to me like hours some days. It's a teacher's deal with the devil, as the ones who abuse this privilege are most often the ones you are praying would leave your classroom anyway. It would be against the health codes to keep them from accessing the facilities, right?

So finally to the important subject of wasting time at work. I'm not going to do very well on this subject unfortunately. I don't work in offices much anymore. I've worked on contract and a project basis so long, my tendancy is to never waste time at work . If I'm working, I work and finish what I'm doing as quickly as possible and get out of there. I have stuff at home and a son to keep me busy for real in my life. Everything changed once I had a kid. I want to work at work and get home to play.

Let me think back. Oh yeah, elaborate rituals around the making, procuring, sharing, rating and drinking coffee figured into advanced work shirking if I remember my pre-mom days. And on those days when I was pretty much useless anyway, a great deal of office straightening up and cleaning was a good way to make it from the deadly Christmas week through the equally dead New Years week on into the new year with a terrifically clean office. Actually it was probably NOT a waste of time, but a fairly good idea come to think of it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a great supporter of wasting time at work. I'd just rather be home wasting time at work ... if that makes any sense.