Born Free And Born Not So Free

Here's a story from AP via the Yahoo News about chimps down on their luck. You thought you had it bad?! How would you like to be born to be a lab experiment, never walk on grass, poked with needles and proded with probes, all in the name of science and then tossed out like an old pair of shoes once you were no longer useful.

This story is about a chimp retirement home being set up in Louisiana, called Chimp Haven. I thought it was a hoax at first honestly, but it's apparently not.

"A lot of young adult chimpanzees have been born in captivity, and a huge number have never walked on grass, climbed a tree or poked a stick in the mud," said Linda Brent, a behavioral primatologist and Chimp Haven's president. "They haven't had the stimulation they need to grow socially, and that will be part of what they'll need to learn at Chimp Haven."

About 1,600 chimps now live in the United States, most in drug and infectious disease research labs, but they lost their research value. Once the tests are done, a chimp's lab career is usually over.

Animal experts say it's only right to provide the primates — whose genetic makeup varies less than 1 percent from man's — with spacious grounds that have facilities to accomodate their high intelligence levels.

I like this story for another reason. If you've come to the end of your rope trying to find a job in this economy and are tempted to throw up your arms and say, there just are no jobs left these days, remember, you can actually get a job running a retirement home for chimpanzees. I'd sure love to see Linda's resume.