Social Software's Substrate Of Love

I had two very interesting conversations recently about community - one with Joi Ito and one with Ray Ozzie. Joi and I were talking about connecting with people and what was the underlying motivation of this need to connect, tell the stories of our lives, reach out to a community. We knocked around the idea that many people are simply lonely and the new technologies of social software like LinkedIn and Friendster, and the hardware that enables them, have a killer emotional app aspect -- that they can turn lonely into ... well, in some cases, literally love, and in other cases, a warm community connection.

With Ray, I was praising all the wonderful friends and parents in our community who have reached out to both me and my husband as we have gone through separation and divorce. They are true innovators in their ways of NOT chosing sides, creating a resilient network for my son, whether it be at school, little league or cub scouts. Ray was recounting how his (fortunately) intact family had also supported other friends and family members through divorces and other social ups and downs. It was a deep conversation about what "community" means.

During my dad's illness and death in April 2002, my online friends were there in myraid ways. They were there in ways that technology facilitated. They could not have been there EXCEPT for technology. I wouldn't even have known them if it weren't for technology, since many were bloggers. Many were there for me via email or IM.

It made me think about what is happening to all our relationships. The divorce rate is high. This means people living apart. The unemployment rate (the the US) is high. This means people working (or not working) apart. Many people spend a lot of time apart and alone. They long for experiences and they long for community. They simply want to connect.

With the recent news of Friendster being funded by prominent VC's, after turning down an offer by Google to buy them, I think we have to admit that we've got something serious going on here in the social software space. As I mentioned recently, describing the business "Build-A-Bear" -- (see post) -- they have built a business on an "experience" and as the book "The Experience Economy" discussed rather presciently, we will see this more and more. Build-A-Bear is built on love -- and the act of taking a child or loved one to a store in the mall and making a very special teddy bear for that person to hug. It sounds corny and schmaltzy to be sure, but when you throw in the layer of love underneath the experience, you've got a powerful substrate driving social software. We'll be seeing more and more infrastructure built out to support our new ways of relating to one another.