She's So Nice

I used to want people to think I was nice. I used to think if you convinced enough people you were nice, then, you were nice. I don't really care about that anymore. I know there will be people who think I'm very nice and also people who think I'm not very nice at all.

I started to realize lately that almost everyone thinks they are pretty nice. Even terrible, miserable, rude, obviously nasty people think they are nice. I bet Hitler really thought he was a nice guy -- a guy trying to make Germany and the whole world a lot nicer so other nice guys like him and their nice wives and nice children could inhabit a really nice country and world.

I think most women are brought up to act nice. When they fall from this state of grace, or out of "a state of nice", they worry there will be hell to pay. Often, they are right-- at least to the extent that their social connections will be strained and they value social connection. They want everyone to play nice.

I think all this niceness undermines our power. When you go into the ring with someone who is not at all nice and will pull every below-the-belt trick on you, you're dead if you're playing nice. Sometimes I worry that in the ring with such an opponent many nice women start the conversation by saying to the monster on the other side of the mat, "My, what a nice belt you have on. Where did you get it? The leather is very nice. May I take a look?"

Wham-o.

KO'd.

Not so nice.