She's Not There

You've probably seen a number of interviews with Jennifer Finney Boylan who just wrote the book She's Not There: A Life In Two Genders. Jennifer used to be a man and became a woman. I haven't read it, but it looks like a terrific book.

In a recent interview ... and I can't recall where I saw it and will have to try to dig it up ... maybe ELLE Magazine, she discussed the issue of confidence. She talked about her life before as a man and how most men feel getting dressed and out the door in the morning or to a party -- essentially rather confident no matter how they look, whether fat, thin, handsome, not so handsome, they have a certain amount of entitlement and confidence that she felt women often lacked. The comment haunted me. I know as a woman how true it is. I'm a fairly confident woman, but it's only been in the last few years that I ever felt that way and I still have meltdowns of insecurity or "I look fat, I don't want to go out," or just enough self-doubt to give up on some endeavor.

She has a unique authority as someone who literally WAS a man and is NOW a woman. Honestly, when I think back to my 20's and how lacking in confidence I was ... I can't help wonder what contributions women would make to our world if they could grapple with this early on in their lives. What a waste, to lack confidence and doubt yourself into a true second-class citizenship of settling for less in life.