Fridge List

You know sometimes you just get a little crazy. You get sad. You get depressed. You get down and you can really fall fast. So Halley's Comment brings you the oh-so-handy-fridge list. Put this list on your fridge. What list? Well, a list of things you can do to get yourself back on track.

We all have those days where it's going along fine and something happens ... an old song on the radio, some harmless (you thought) country & western tune or god knows what ... a girl you see at a Starbuck's that looks just like ... oh, shit, is it her? And your heart falls fast. Christ, man, you could get the bends the plunge is so deep and so fast.

Turn to the handy fridge list. Notice it's strategic location. I'm all for jamming food into your face if you're having an anxiety attack and getting very depressed very fast. You know in the 80's and 90's we were all getting so fucking perfect, we started getting on our high horses about addictions. Give addictions a break. They can be handy sometimes. Jam that food in your mouth. Light up that cig. Pour that glass of wine. A little 69 for the master and mistress of the house never hurt anyone. Come on. Go for it.

So the list includes all the heretofore mentioned pleasures and add these:

Order A Pizza
Prank calls requesting "Prince Albert In A Can" to local drugstores
Ask 10 Friends over and insist on them showing you their driver's license photos
Using food coloring on any food, any drink
Putting ice anywhere on you, anywhere on anyone else
Dressing up like That 70's Show
Other Stupid Stuff TBD

Remember you only live once and why spend it feeling half dead. And yes, it's true blondes have more fun. Way more fun.