Download

I have been working and working and working and finally, I'm done for a while and yesterday I did a most radical thing. Put on a bathing suit, went out in the back yard, Lay there on a blanket. That's it. It was hot, sunny, gorgeous. And something stunning happened. I simply was. I was. I just was me. Just being there.

Or let me say what I WASN'T to make it more clear what I was. I wasn't rushing from an airplane to a taxi. I wasn't in an office. I wasn't writing at the computer. I wasn't paying bills. I wasn't reading The Wall Street Journal. I wasn't thinking about 30, 60, 90 days out. I wasn't wondering if I could take a coffee break after a morning of mind numbing readings, writings, meetings. I wasn't driving to some appointment and fretting about the traffic. I wasn't wondering about a silk blouse at the dry cleaners being ready for a certain day next week. I wasn't flying out of the house with hair still not dry, kid's backpack in tow, file folder forgotten on coffee table, lunch money not easily found, so stashing a $20 in my kid's pocket, rushing to get to that damned intersection in time not to get stuck and be late for a morning meeting. I wasn't cutting a guy off in traffic and muttering about what an idiot he was ... when, of course, I was the rude idiot cutting him off.

I was just on a blanket, my skin the network for a massive download of information. I was downloading sky, sun, trees, breeze, air, light, green, yellow, birch bark, and earthly knowledge. I was. I just was. And it was amazing. I was drunk with it. The sizzle of the earthly wisdom hitting my many square inches of skin. And as the knowledge rushed in, I was swooning with it, going, "oh, yes, yes, yes, I remember, I get it, oh, right, yes, I know, yes, absolutely right, I so agree, mmmmmmmmmmmmm, yes." Returning to self. Returning to the earth. Returning to the ground. Coming home. Yes, I remember her vaguely, very tenuous, she's surfacing, someone named me.