Make Your Bed

Had a terrific conversation yesterday at lunch with a new friend, about how easy it is to get out of balance. It got me thinking. Here's a typical balance problem I can have. For instance, you can decide to spend a little time inside over the weekend,not seeing friends, not going out because you're so tired from working hard during the week, or maybe for some dumb reason like you're hair looks crappy and you figure, well, I'll just stay in bed a little longer Saturday morning, next thing you know, it's Saturday afternoon, you're not even dressed, there are 5 magazines, 2 newspapers and three books scattered around your messy bed and you feel a bit depressed. And since you feel kind of shitty anyway, the phone rings -- someone asking you to go out and do something with them, your sister, a guy, your bowling pal, whatever -- and you figure, "well, why bother answering the phone" and then you roll over and take a nap. Why not, it's Saturday afternoon, why not take a nap.

And then you wake up about 4:00 and not answering the phone seemed a good idea, so you expand on that concept and unplug it entirely. BTW, you know the mailman has delivered the mail, but you haven't actually opened your mailbox for a week anyway, so the idea that you might check the mail turns into, why bother. Of course, you look at the clock and notice the dry cleaner is about to close -- now it's about 5:00 on Saturday and you really did need to go there and drop stuff and get the new stuff for next week for work, but you figure, what the hell.

You decide boldly to get out of bed, but with much self-loathing to say the least, because you're noticing you're a person who spent the whole of Saturday in bed and can't answer the phone and can't get the mail and have a big messy bedroom with a bed that looks more like a newstand than a bed. You figure you'll eat something. There must be something in your house. Of course, much to your dismay, there's almost nothing in your house, but a box of Frosted Flakes your nephew left behind one time. You eat these.

So now it's Saturday night, so why not watch TV and you switch it on and it's really really depressing, so you switch it off. And you figure, well, I'll check my email. So you check your email and you find next to nothing and lots of spam and you get the feeling that everyone is having a lot more fun than you, which really may not be far from the truth, but instead of reaching out and talking to someone, you decide it makes more sense to hate them and not talk to them.

You open the paper to look at the movies. You're having one good instict -- get the door and go see a movie -- but then you figure, Saturday night, date night, everyone's in a couple at the movies -- I can't go to the movies alone. So you give up on that idea. Probably wandering through the aisles of Target is a better idea and spending money on stuff you don't need. You think about this for a while and then realize you'd have to actually take a shower and get dressed to go to Target and this seems like just too much work.

Okay, I'm sure you've had enough. This is just my little way of saying that we all have these kinds of days but what happens is we just don't know how to intervene early on and head a day like this off at the pass, so to speak. The conversation we had was about why a day can turn into the Titantic going down, when you could have added the smallest counterweight early on and put the whole thing back in balance before it went completely down the drain.

For instance, I know you've seen these folks at your local McDonalds or Burger King -- senior citizens who have a standing date for morning coffee with one another to get their old butts out of bed, get cleaned up and have some place to go and people that care about them -- and we could all take a page from that book. So with my scenario above, and people have always teased me about this, I'm a big proponent of MAKING YOUR BED. Get up, make your goddamned bed and you'd be surprised how this can get your day in balance right off. And do have people you meet for coffee at Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts or McDonalds -- wherever.

Big secret -- lots of us are out of work -- and another big secret -- if this wasnt' the most depressing economy before 9/11 and then turned into a terrifying world with a depressing economy after 9/11 and THEN with the war has turned into a nervewracking, terrifying world with the absolute worst economy in years and years -- well, the big secret is, all of us are a lot more depressed than we let on. If you're not working, you 're worrying and depressed. If you are working, chances are you are also depressed because you know you could be let go or downsized at any moment and no one wants to hear people who are working whining. And even if you are a trust fund kid and never think about work, you're busy pricing gas masks and not having an easy day. So admit it. Life is tough lately. Put some balance in.

We were joking at lunch that you need an early warning system to keep you on alert -- DEF CON 3 -- yes, confidence is high, you just missed garbage and recycle day tor the 2nd week in a row, your life is falling apart, MAKE YOUR BED, TAKE A SHOWER, GET THE MAIL, ANSWER THE PHONE, meet anyone who's the least bit optimistic and upbeat for coffee. And do it BEFORE you go to into complete melt-down. And those of you on the receiving end of the call from your old friend who's really down and out of work, try to make time for them. Chances are you don't have time since if you have a job, it's probably the remnants of three people's jobs in 2000 that turned into two colleagues being vaporized and you getting all their work load. So try to see the other person, if only for coffee and they might even let you bitch a bit about your life.

Of course, the funny thing about the conversation was how we were shocked at having gone through the same thrings in our lives and thought it was a big coincidence, but then I thought of all of my friends and how hard it is to even make it through a day these days, and I just wanted to tell you, MAKE YOUR BED!