Xtreme Selling

Gary Turner, Xtremely funny man in the UK, sent along an email after reading my Alpha Male piece about Confidence Men, mentioning a post he did a while back on testosterone-crazed salesmen. Gotta share it -- here's the link or read below:.

[Note: After discussing Xtreme Skiing and other high risk sports, Gary says] ... Well, I think we should adopt similar approaches to everyday working life. For example Extreme Selling. You can start off gently simply by turning up late to critical meetings with your best customer or just start wearing scruffy, unpolished shoes and continue the process by breaking some more of the classic rules a successful salesman should never break and work up slowly. Congratulations, you have just begun to extreme sell.

After some practice you should be confident that you're still able to get the deals at this basic level and then it's time to crank it up to the max extreeeeeeme selling ....walk in to your customer's office and put your feet up on his desk, be verbally abusive to his staff, double your quote then say in a high pitched alien like voice "Oh sorry I appear to have gotten my figures wrong", then double it again, telling the customer you "don't need his fucking lowlife business anyway", put only the words "KISS MY ASS" on your business cards, every time you email a quote to him attach a sickening porno photograph with your customer's head crudely transplanted onto one (or both) of the participants in the scene, sit in his office and put your fingers in your ears whilst shouting "la la la la I'm not listening" whenever the customer attempts to speak, pick up his desk photos and blurt out that you'd like to "do his wife because she's so damn hot", generously sprinkle cocaine into your coffee in front of him, do greatly exaggerated impersonations of the customer and repeat every sentence he says, take a leak in his fishtank and kill his expensive fish, during the meeting take a call from your Ho in which you say "Yeah baby, just let me get finished with this fuckhead and I'll be right over to wack him, no way is he movin in on my street" and if after all that, if against all the odds you're a good enough salesman to still get the deal signed - congratulations, you have just become an Extreme Salesman.

And do not miss what he did today on The Support Economy.