My Dad The Swinger

[March 11, 2002 -- Happy Father's Day. This was something I wrote about a month before my dad died this year. One thing I take away from it -- he sure knew how to live. One thing I bring to it -- forgiveness and acceptance.]

Nothing is simple, is it? Good news, my ailing dad MIRACULOUSLY seems to have beaten the pneumonia and he's back in the game. Truly incredibly. My genes are tough!

Bad news, I'm having a hard time visiting him. I shared these thoughts with a friend on email and he said, put them in your blog, so here goes. Deep breath.

Okay ... subject: my dad. Quick synopsis: Adult, maybe, adulterer, definately. He spent a lot of his life philandering, that is to say, cheating on my mom, making her insanely miserable. He had a lot of fun. He was 6'4", handsome, thin, very charming. He dated a lot of the Revlon babes when he was SVP of Advertising there. Rumor has it he dated Julie Newmar, yes, the original Catwoman.

When I was growing up, I NEVER saw my dad. We lived in Connecticut and he was always "in the City" working (read:playing). When I was about ten years old and I was invited for a sleepover at my friend Nancy's house, we sat down to dinner and her dad was there. I was really confused since my dad never made dinner at our house. I asked "Why's he here? Did he get fired? Why isn't he in the City?"

We had it in our family lore that my dad would drop dead early, hopefully not in some ladies' boudoir, and my mom, the tough, strong, saintly one would live on and on, be the doting grandma and peppy senior citizen, happy to finally enjoy her life without his selfish demands and selfish behavior. Wrong.

And strangely, you sometimes wonder if only the selfish survive. I mean, no disrespect, but think about it, the people who are really out for themselves often have finely honed survival skills.

Even now at the nursing home, bedridden and 83, he doesn't lack for charm, wit and charisma. I cringe (and later laugh) when the nurses tell me on a daily basis, how adorable my dad is. He's a survivor. And you gotta love the guy.