Make Believe

A fellow blogger is in town visiting from San Francisco and I was trying to do a blogger's meal tomorrow Sunday, pulling together some local Boston bloggers and our honorable guest, but everything is coming crashing down around me as my dad seems more and more desperately ill and I can't be far from the hospital.

His illness has been such a roller coaster for months, you feel as if you should resist falling for the idea that it's really serious this time. It's too painful to get repeatedly trashed by it, as he takes a terrible turn for the worse and then, suddenly he's well again. Fooled you!!! We try to go on with our lives and make believe everything's okay. Sometimes it's a healthy distraction to live, to work, to visit with friends, but at other times it seems a shameful act of selfishness.

Tonight my minister, Judy Brain came over to the ICU and was so kind. I really appreciated her simple words of prayer and her loving care of my dad and the rest of my family and me. She always knows the right thing to say.

We've had nights where we really wondered if he would make it through, and this one looks grim. And so, we pray.