Something Dirty Somebody Told Me Once

Here it is Saturday, so I'm back "up at bat" to write something about sex, but I'll send you off to blogsisters first — they seem to be cornering the market and far excel at the subject.

However, I will tell you the first thing anyone ever told me about sex when I was the "new girl" in third grade. [My genius parents figured we should move from NYC to Connecticut and start our new school on April 1 — aka April Fool's Day. Thanks, guys.]

Anyway, another girl in fifth grade who rode the Glenville bus with me wrote two numbers on a piece of paper and showed it to me and then blushed ten shades of red and of course, I didn't get it at all.

On the paper it said "69" .

She realized I didn't get it — even at nine years old, I wasn't about to admit I didn't get it, I was uncool and ask her to explain — but luckily she whispered in my ear all the disgusting graphic details of mutual hetero oral sex as only an eleven-year-old girl might describe them. Her breathe, so close to my ear, smelled like Mint Chocolate Girl Scout Cookies, since she was a lead salesman in her troupe.

I said, "why would anyone do that?"