Please Help Me Rewrite This Headline

Is this for real "Anderson Chief Quits In Effort To Rescue Firm"!?!

Was the headline writer at The New York Times asleep last night and an intern from NYU Film School wrote this fiction? I won't jump to conclusions, but one of these two headlines probably tells the real story.

"Anderson Chief Quits to Save His Own Ass"

or

"Anderson Chief New Scapegoat in Lame-Assed Attempt To Save Anderson"

Go ahead, try telling the truth. It's actually kind of refreshing. And I'm throwing the gauntlet down to you witty bloggers you — surely you can come up with something that puts Anderson and Waste Management in the same sentence, both to their detriment.