Friday, August 26, 2005

To Be AllThatYouCanBe or Not To Be

Sometimes while watching the evening news on TV, I have to grab my head on both sides, and start screaming, because the things they say are so HORRIFYING, I think the evening news is being penned by Stephen King.

Yes, the evening news is Carrie or something.

Like tonight, they report that the military recruiting geniuses have given up on their usual hack-kneed pitch of trying to make young men join up to be heros and have fun -- (remember that old campaign "BE, ALL THAT YOU CAN BE" and the sexy pictures of war they used to sell you with?) and now they've determined that the reason young guys and gals aren't joining the military fast enough is their DAMNED PARENTS ARE TALKING THEM OUT OF IT. Can you imagine that?! Those meddlesome parents trying to keep their kids alive -- how dare they!?

So their new pitch is these mind-fuck commercials where the father is talking to the son about being "a man" or let me translate, how to become an alpha male moron and get shipped far away to get killed to prove what a great guy he is ... I mean was.

From the few clips they showed it seems they have sent "Mom" out of the kitchen ... only dad is there to rally his son. Why the hell should Mom have anything to say to her son about keeping his ass out of the line of fire? Mothers are just big softies. Get rid of them. Stop marketing to them. Instead, attack a young man's masculinity by having a father figure (or a father will do) challenge his testosterone levels and tell him the only way to prove he has balls is to have them shot off.

No more "be all that you can be" no way. Now, like Hamlet, they ask future warriors, to be or not to be?

And I return, this was "news" tonight on tonight's news ... an "editorial" story about military recruiting commercials.

But I have news for the news ... when you put on a segment about such an insane thing and really take no editorial position on the content, it's not news, it's advertorial and should have that slimey label on the screen. It was a nicely edited military recruiting video, being played during primetime. They could never afford to buy "air time" on that particular evening news program, but why should they? They got it for free.

So sign up boys and show your dad you've got what it takes. And make sure he's got a nice 8 x 10 glossy of you to send the news program for their final segment every night about those killed in the line of duty.