Tuesday, November 12, 2002

Halley's Hairspray Strategy

This morning, I heard the weather -- heavy rain -- so I knew I was going to have to really lay on the hairspray if I wanted the do to do its thing. I've been channelling Angie Dickinson circa 1969 lately, little flip in the back and sides and you just wrap your hair around a brush and spray the hell out of it.

Little problem this morning though. I hairsprayed my ear closed. Well, not completely closed. It wasn't like I glued the flap over the hole. I just wasn't aiming very well and shot a wad of the stuff in my ear. I created a little muting effect. So for most of the day, I didn't really hear a lot on the right side, but you'd be surprised how little you miss. For instance, there was sexual harrassment training today and I wasn't invited for some reason, but I think it probably would have been lots more fun with one ear hairsprayed shut. It was for full-time employees, and I'm on a contract. I'm not at all sure whether this means I'm still a free agent in terms of sexual harrassment. Can I be the agent provocatrice, or even a freelance target of such behavior, not having been trained like the rest of the group? I'll have to check on that.

This raises another concern. If someone who has been trained, threw caution to the wind and decided to whisper sweet nothings in my ear -- what with my Angie Dickinson flip and all -- well, I guess I wouldn't hear them anyway, if my ear were hairsprayed shut. Case closed. That is, if they were whispering in the right ear. Hmmm. Have to think about this.