Tuesday, March 06, 2007

What Not To Expect When You're Expecting

I treated Maryam to lunch yesterday after she and Robert made their announcement -- they have a baby due in September! Maryam and I went to University Avenue in Palo Alto on a very warm bright sunny day, had a pretty terrific lunch at California Pizza Kitchen and talked about what having a baby is really like. Well, not just the "having" part only, but also the living with one, the raising one, the feeding one, all the day-to-day stuff.

At least for me, every part of what I expected was turned upside down on its head. I thought I'd want lots of time at home with my beautiful baby, I even got a long paid leave, but instead I missed work more than I thought I would. What worked best was a little balance between babying and working. I thought my labor would be long and difficult, it was supersonic and not that bad. I thought I'd only breastfeed, no bottles, but that didn't work out for me or my kid, and I went to bottle, better for both of us. What I thought would be easy was hard, what I thought would be hard was easy. All my expectations were blown out of the water.

One thing I know I can count on is that Maryam will be a great mom. She's a terrific person, warm and loving, smart and funny, just wonderful. If you could pick someone to be your mother, she'd top anyone's list.

So more than anything else yesterday, as we ate great food and had fun talking about her future, I wanted her to know that whatever she expected about "expecting" she might as well give it up and wait and see what worked for her and Robert. You just don't know how you'll feel about any of it until you're going through it. I guess that's what makes it an adventure in every way.

[Meanwhile, yesterday seemed to be BLOGGER BABY ANNOUNCEMENT DAY. Big congratulations to Caterina and Stewart, Flickr founders, who also let it be known they're having a baby in September. And Sage and Steve Himmer, Boston Bloggers, are also expecting in September. What's going on in the blogosphere?!? It sure is fertile!]